This Video Game is Making Me Violent!

OK so I watched Today Tonight… today, to have my intellect insulted by yet another “Doctor” who claims that video games make kids violent. The comment that was made by Dr Wayne went like this ”I think of media being like food, it’s a common sense kind of thing… it’s how much you eat and what you eat…” From that point onwards I knew this guy has gone down the rabbit hole and was going to harp on about something only “mummy warriors” with “super human mummy sense” can detect over actual science (Yes Jenny McCarthy I’m talking about parents like you). He makes a lot of assumptions, one where he explains that as a gamer you clock up the highest hours between the ages of 11-14, and that the more you play the higher the likelihood of you displaying hostile behaviour.

Let’s analyse the first claim. I’m 27 and I play more games now than I did when I was in school. I mean now i have a home, a TV and finances to support my addiction. The funny thing is, as a kid growing up I was picked on by the boys playing Rugby League and the skateboarders who smoked weed much more than I was by those kids who played Wolfenstein 3D or DOOM!

But then again I was growing up in the era of Nokia 5110′s and Snake was the game of choice, even for the stoners… COULD THAT HAVE BEEN THE PROBLEM?… DAMN YOU NOKIA?!!! DAMN YOU SNAKE?!!!

But on a more serious note if anything, I believe blaming games is a ridiculous and a lazy move by any parent or so called “Doctor”. I remember talking to my wife who attended a talk by a very inspirational man. This man told her that we should not focus our energy on blaming games for a child’s behaviours but instead focus on the real problem… THE KID! Is the kid bullied themselves? Are the parents bullies? Let’s identify the real problem not just apply a simple stupid stereotype.

However, as a scientist (Oh yeah forgot to mention i have a Chemistry degree… SHOCK HORROR) I need to analyse the violence pre and post video games to find the real truth in the matter. To do this I will compare evil people who became evil whilst playing video games to those who did not:

Did not play video games:

- Attila the Hun: plundered and devastated all in his path, died by drowning in his own blood… did not own an xbox

- Josef Stalin: estimated to have caused the murder of 10-60 million people… Finds the concept of playing with his or someone else’s Wii disgusting

- Adolf Hitler: Fuhrer, brought death and destruction to tens of millions of people and shot himself in the head whilst biting down on a cyanide pill to commit suicide… never played Angry Birds!

- Ivan the IV of Russia: also know as Ivan the Terrible, gathered between 500-1000 people on a daily basis to torture and murder so as to enterain himself and his sons… sucks at DRAW WITH FRIENDS.

- Vlad the Impaler: Is the primary inspiration for the popullar novel “Dracula”… never been thanked by a Twilight fan…

Played video games

- Little Timmy: Drew on a wall with a texta… Bad TIMMY

- Denis the Menace: A fictional television character from the 90′s… he angered Mr Wilson!

As is clearly visible from this quick meta analysis games are crucial to prevent torture, mass extermination and impalement… however it will not stop the Twilight saga.

They ask me… ‘are you a Doctor?’… and i say no i’m theTZAR!