As a young father my life is filled with stress. I know there are heaps of blogs about the stresses of a mother and how hard it is for them and whilst I understand that by watching my wife working like a busy bee, I thought I might talk about the presures of being a young dad in today’s world.
For those who do not know I am a 27 year old chemistry graduate working for a global pharmaceutical company whilst studying for a Masters in Technology in Business Systems. My job as a father, a husband and a man is to make life easier for the two most important people in my life… my girls.
It was for this reason I had to make one of the hardest decisions in my life, that still plagues me until this day…
I’d like you, as my readers to ask yourselves… what would you do?
Do I take a job that offers me more money and do a job I am not 100% sure I enjoy? Or do I sacrifice that salary increase and remain in my current role whereby I could or could not progress to the position I’d prefer to be in, whilst spending more time with my family?
This conundrum raises many questions:
- What is the benefit to my family?
- Will I be happy?
- How does this decision affect my wife and child?
- What would my parents do in the same situation?
- How will my family be perceived?
As a father, the majority of the time my decisions are based on what is best for my wife and child and not necessarily what is best for me. A sacrifice for them is the best type of sacrifice I could make. Which is why I had to make the decision I did.
Let me explain the situation:
Whilst I am a successful and an experienced medical representative, my imagination has led me to great heights in innovation. The experience I have has made me a market expert in the pharmaceutical field and a valuable addition to any company. In saying this I am not boasting, but being realistic about my performance in my current role.
I was approached by my recruiter for a once in a life time opportunity that offered a $20,000 pay increase and an insane “National Management Title,” at first I was enthralled by the idea. I went for the inteview and absolutely dominated in all aspects for the potential role.
The next day I received a phone call from my recruiter telling me I got the job… to which I had to reply, “thank you but I chose to decline this generous offer”. To this day my colleagues think I am mad. They think my talent is wasted in Pharmaceuticals and I am under-appreciated which leads me to believe that I might truly be mad. But there is sound reasoning behind my madness. Let me attempt to explain.
As a representative my business is my own, my office is my home and my life has the best sense of work-life balance of any profession. Sure the extra $20,000 would mean I could purchase a bigger home, go on an extra holiday and maybe upgrade my wife’s car. But when I considered it, it could NEVER and I mean NEVER buy my daughter’s smile from the extra time I get to spend with her. It can never make up for the extra time I get to spend with my wife, nor could it purchase the extra headache that comes from being home more often. All that and more is worth more than an extra $20,000 p.a. and in reality I would pay a whole lot more to keep it that way.
From a young age I have alway asked myself – “What do I want to achieve before I die?” Up until I had my daughter the responses were along these lines; “Own a Ferrari”, “Own a Yacht” or even “Be Famous.” But now it all has changed. All I can think about is, “why am I working and not with my child?”
Maybe I am wrong, maybe I will never be a millionaire… but by the end of it all when my little girl of 11 month looks at me, smiles and says “Papa”… well I know no amount of money could ever buy the happiness I feel at exactly that moment. So how did i decline and reject my job offer? Easy… with confidence!
theTZAR says love your family!
theTZAR has spoken!

Daniel
July 6, 2012
Stan,
Great post. Its great to hear about someone focusing on their family, rather than material objects and career ambitions that destroy the work/famly balance.
I think the point of having a career is for you to support your family, not completely dominate your life causing you to neglect them. (not that i have my own family)
theTzar
July 7, 2012
Thanks Daniel,
I agree… the more time i can spend with her now the better. Before I know it she will be in school, followed by Uni and after that married… now is really the only time she gets to be all mine! And no amount of cash could ever buy that in the future!
Madmother
July 8, 2012
Fantastic post! Our family too chose to work to live, not live to work.
We went from high-powered careers in Sydney, to a total tree-change. It has made our boys the main focus of our lives.
Great post.
theTzar
July 8, 2012
Thank you for stopping by! I 100% agree with work to live and not live to work. Great to see more people focusing on what is important… family!